Vacation?

I love college, I actually do like my classes, but midterms have been stressing me out A LOT lately. I have some tough classes, and studying has been filling 98% of my time. I can finally breathe again after having 3 this week...but I just want the semester to be 'ova! I am feeling a lot of pressure to succeed in my "major" classes, but I think I need a vacation!! But on the plus side my awesome Dad planned a very awesome trip for us for Thanksgiving, so I am pretty pumped about that. Laguna here I come!

Other than that, I am stoked for this weekend. Yes, it's Halloween and I haven't had time to piece together my outfit yet, so we'll hope for the best. I get to see my best friend Janet, who I haven't seen since summer...and we're going to the Packer game! Hoo rah! So I'm ready to let loose and have some fun after all this studying!

On the guy homefront a few things have happened lately. I met a very ambitious guy who was very eager to start up a conversation with me but find out the next day he has a lot more baggage than what I'm looking for. (Divorced, kids, ya know everything I'm NOT looking for in my future BF). Another persistent guy keeps wanting to set something up with me, but my hectic schedule has not leant time for that....yet. Another persistent guy felt the need to proclaim his feelings for me via text message when I was in walking distance of him. Men that text need to grow up and TALK in person. I met up with an old lover for a dinner and movie date. I felt like we were in the beginning of our relationship again and butterflies were about to shoot from my stomach. It was a fun, well-worth it date, but I am left feeling indifferent. We explained our feelings for one another and still feel very passionate about each other, but I didn't have the same butterflies that I had when I felt I loved him. So maybe in the future our paths will cross when the timing is right, but if not-I know that the bond we had or have is still mutual.

Until next time...cheers!

Closure & Autumn

Sometimes its hard for your heart to fully grasp itself around closure on someone or something. It’s the hardest to do so when your head is telling you its time to move on, but your heart can’t move forward. This is how I felt about a year ago around this time. Getting over someone is difficult-especially when you don’t have closure. Last October my goal was to redeem my closure with a certain lover. Needless to say I left parted with my pride up, but my closure that I was seeking wasn’t fulfilled. The opposite of what I wanted happened and feelings were shared that couldn’t be explained. I was doing some much needed cleaning today and came across my hot little black dress that I wore to dress to impress this time last year, which I did. Coming across it again made me remember how I felt that night and how different I feel now about the ex-lover. It’s hard to still keep in contact with someone who had impacted your life in such a way that made you strive to new heights, to truly get what you want out of life, and to make you truly understand what love is.

But love comes in many forms. The void of having that certain someone can sometimes seem relentless, but I’ve gathered so many experiences and fulfillments on my own over the past year. Love can be shown through the surprise of family members at your doorstep. Love can be the unconditional acts of kindness we do for one another. Love can be seeing traits of my mom through the doings of my sister. Love can be waking up in the morning having a dream that I had seen my mom, who looked years older since I last saw her, and her being so excited to see and meet my roommates and be filled in on what she had missed. But waking up and knowing that somehow she does know me and can watch over me is the love that binds us together.

Love truly is a feeling that comes in many forms. Live your life in love-it is too short not to.